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In Sweet Company Newsletter for May
It was a day of remembering as well as celebration, Mother’s Day was; remembering the women in my life who set me on a course that helped me grow into who I am today, and remembering those whose love and support transcended any biological or familial imperative and Mothered me still. When the day was done, I listened to a number of impassioned actresses recite the Mother’s Day proclamation written 140 years ago by Julia Ward Howe 5WCW and my appreciation and gratitude expanded to include my many unseen Mothers, the women who came before me, who paved the way for the privileges I now take for granted. Amidst the crash and burn of the status quo, despite the stresses and uncertainties of our times, hearing Howe’s words spoken by these women made me realize what an exciting time it is to be a woman, especially a spiritual woman.
Yes, “we’ve come a long way baby!” These days, when I think about raising the consciousness of our nation, I think not only about glass ceilings and the necessity to support activities like the Department for Peace and UN Commission on the Status of Women 5WCW, but that women make the commitment to actually, daily, lift our own minds and hearts above the fray; that we mother ourselves. I say this now and say it often because it is so easy and natural for women in times of crisis and change to spend our energy helping others, helping others to the point that we become emotionally and energetically bankrupt.
Simone de Beauvior once said, “Women are made not born.” Any coming of age — of all people regardless of clime and gender, of a society as a whole — occurs via a series of trials and errors, of necessary yes’es and no’s that ultimately teach us how to stand in spiritual being. We develop, over time, a belief system that enables rather than restricts us; we learn, over time, to deal with error within ourselves and others and with the chaos in the world in a more forgiving way. No one does that for us. Oftentimes, in our desire to make it all better as quickly as we can, given all that must be done, women don’t take time to mother ourselves. It’s a high price to pay.
This is not to say that we refrain from reaching out. We must exercise and expand the boundaries of our inbred emotional generosity to keep it viable. We must push the edge of our envelope. But we must not flame out. We must not implode. We must not let others or circumstances or our fears about what could happen if we don’t do something turn us into automatons. Capable as we are, we must allow others the opportunity to discover for themselves the meaning and satisfaction inherent in stepping up to the plate, in rising to the occasion.
I’m getting some good practice with all this myself. My husband and I are moving from San Diego to the Bay area. Soon. It’s a work-related move, a consciously choreographed job transition that will get him off the road and allow us to spend more time together. I have no idea exactly when this will happen, where we will live or what I will do (besides write and do retreats) once we get there. We must sell our house in a depressed real estate market. (Know anyone looking for a really swell condo in the hills of Lake San Marcos? Move in condition! Must see to believe! Wild flower garden with tree top views!Custom touches! Such a deal!) We must bid adieu to the friends and family who have mothered us and create a new extended family. YIKES! What surprises me most about all the possible combinations of these unknowns and the To Do List they engender (dare I say it lest I curse it!) is that I do what was previously most unknown to me: When I notice that I’m getting crispy round the edges, I take care of myself. That I do this gives me Joy.
Aside from my cache of previous overwhelms and my determination to not go there ever, ever, ever again, what helps makes my self-mothering possible is an affirmation I devised that I say many times throughout my day — and especially when I start to get a little nutz: “I move forward in perfect faith in the power of Omnipresent Good to bring me exactly what I want and need whenever I need it; thank You very much!” The thanking part is important. It expresses my appreciation for and trust in the process as well as for the outcome. And it keeps me aware that I’m not alone. The “want and need” part is equally important. I know that I am not self-indulgent or greedy, that my wants as well as my needs are connected to the Greater Good; that it’s OK, not selfish, it’s right and good, to ask for what I want, to ask for something for myself. It’s a good thing. Feel free to use this affirmation if it speaks to you. Consider it a belated Mother’s Day gift. From me to you with love.
This summer the Global Peace Initiative of Women is meeting in Assisi, Italy to explore some grand possibilities. The gathering — The Divine Feminine: Guiding Global Transformation — is being held from August 9 −11, 2009. For more information, please contact info@gpiw.org.
Sharon Riegie Maynard of Sister Space conducts interviews and offers programs to help women move through these challenging times. To listen to our recent
conversation on same, visit Sister Space .
A small financial contribution can provide support and friendship to women in Third World countries who need to know there is light at the end of their tunnel. Contact
Women for Women International Women For Women and Peace X Peace for more information.
As always, I welcome your support, suggestions and prayers. Do pass on this newsletter and a copy of IN SWEET COMPANY to anyone you think would be interested. Know, too, that I am so very grateful for your sweet company.
Big Love,
Margaret
